How to meet new people
Whether you are
busy working or whether you stay at home all day
(or both!), it can be difficult to meet new people.
The following are some suggestions for ways to
expand your social network, though we would like
to make the point loudly and clearly that it
is always better not to go looking for a romantic
relationship. If that’s what you’re
looking for, it will show and may put off someone
who might later have turned out to be a good candidate.
Conversely, you may well attract the wrong sort
of person. Instead,
focus on making friends. (In any case,
your ideal long-term partner will need to be,
first and foremost, your friend.)
Before we
go on, just a note about getting involved with
someone from work. Although, for many of us, work
is where we spend most of our time and is perhaps
the only place we meet new people, there are huge
complications attached to getting involved with
someone you work with. The main one is, what happens
if the relationship goes wrong? You don’t
want to have to continue in the relationship just
because it would be too awkward to work together
otherwise. And, of course, even if it’s
all going swimmingly, it can be very difficult
to concentrate on your work when the object of
your love and passion is around all the time.
Pros
and cons of joining a dating agency
Pros and cons of singles
events and holidays
Other ways to meet new people
Pros
and cons of joining a dating agency
If you are really
determined to get into a romantic relationship
as quickly as possible, you could join a dating
agency. There are some very good ones these days
and, as long as you are sensible and follow the
agency’s advice, it’s all quite safe.
The major advantage
is fast access to large numbers of single people
in your area.
The major disadvantages
are the artificial nature of the contact and the
(depending on your disposition, slight or strong)
feeling of being tested.
An online dating
agency offers the opportunity to look at pictures,
read profiles and sift through potential ‘dates’
before you contact them. However, there is nothing
quite like meeting somebody in the flesh for knowing
whether he or she is your type or not.
Broadly speaking,
our advice would be this. If you are confident
in yourself and don’t feel the need to adapt
to what you imagine the other person wants, you
can have fun – and even success –
through a dating agency. However, if you feel
insecure, you will almost certainly be better
off meeting people in other ways.
Pros
and cons of singles events and holidays
Because these
things are group occasions, the pressure is less
intense than on a one-to-one date. However, there
is still the atmosphere of constantly assessing
one another for partner suitability. In our view,
meeting people in a more ‘normal’,
organic way is much more conducive to making proper
friendships, which may then develop into something
more.
Other
ways to meet new people
The best way to
meet like-minded people is through a shared interest
or activity. Don’t discount making friends
with people of your own sex. Firstly, it’s
always nice to have more friends. Secondly, your
new friend might turn out to be the sister/brother,
cousin or friend of the partner of your dreams!
Here are some
suggestions for places to go and things to do,
where you can get chatting to the people around
you and perhaps make friends with them. Focus
on enjoying yourself rather than eyeing up the
talent!
- Join a gym or health club
- Take a course in something that
interests you
- Attend lectures, seminars, book
readings and so on
- Take up a sport
- Join a reading group
- Do voluntary work
- Join an amateur dramatics society,
chess club, bridge club or similar
- Travel alone, particularly abroad
- Go to every party you are invited
to, even if you don’t feel like it
- Give a big party yourself
and ask all your friends to bring people you
don’t know
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