Engagement

The journey from “yes” to “I do” can be as long or as short as you like. If it has taken him a while to propose and you’re both ready to tie the knot and settle down, there is no need to set a date for two years hence. The only issue is whether the church/registry office (or place where you have chosen to get married) and the reception venue of your choice are available when you want them to be.

When you announce your engagement, you might like to throw a party. There is no expectation of this, some people do and some people don’t. However, what is important, if you haven’t done it already, is to get your families together as soon as possible. Albeit to a much lesser extent, they are also being merged by your union and they need to get to know each other.

Some couples like to have a year or two to prepare for the wedding, to have time to enjoy planning and organising an elegant and elaborate occasion. Others, once they have made the decision to get married, want to move much more quickly. Depending where you live and how flexible you are, it is almost always possible to arrange a fairly large wedding within a couple of months – though it’s very hard work.

We suggest you give yourselves an engagement of at least two months, if only so that you are not too stressed to enjoy making all the arrangements for the wedding.

Also, although in many cases it goes with the territory of marriage, do try not to be selling or buying a house at this stage. Planning your wedding takes a great deal of energy and if you can avoid carrying the enormous burden of property-exchange at the same time, it will save a lot of wear and tear on your nerves.

An engagement of at least a few months gives you time to adjust to the prospect of becoming husband and wife and perhaps to attend a marriage preparation course. These courses are about you and your relationship, not just about your faith. They are offered by most Anglican churches and you can read more about them, and find out where there is a course near you, by clicking on the link. If you are of another religion, ask at your place of worship for information about marriage preparation.

If you would like some secular guidance in terms of what to expect from being married to your partner and how to make sure your marriage gets off to the best possible start, we recommend this book:

	The Big Book of Us by Nina Grunfeld A very accessible book, filled with useful information and exercises designed to help you gain a deeper understanding of each other. You don’t have to be experiencing problems in your relationship to benefit from this book; it will help you to avoid problems in the future. Click here to buy this now from Amazon.